I don't feel beautiful when i eat... please help me i'm scared?

basically ive been dealing with my weight for a long time, and for a while i thought that starving was stupid & unnecessary...but then something happened in my life that made me lose a ton of self-confidence. this summer ive been talking to this guy a lot and he talks to me first and i kept finding him saying these sweet comments and things at random times. basically i reallyy like him now. and he told me he might tell me who he liked later and then turns out he likes my best friend. the exact same thing happened last summer. the guy liked my best friend not me. all guys like my best friend, she is very pretty and has an attractive personality. so anyways, she lost 40 pounds mostly by starving herself but she has a lot of muscle so shes really in shape and she has really nice hair and things like that. i started to wonder...why her and not me? am i not skinny enough? am i not pretty enough? am i not good enough?; am i not beautiful? now every time i swallow something could be an apple, yogurt, anything, i don't feel like a beautiful girl. i try to not eat for the whole day besides breakfast (i cant go without breakfast but i only eat small things for breakfast), but after skipping lunch and being hungry for so many hours it's difficult. what's happening to me? im losing so much self-confidence. don't say talk to my friend about it, you don't tell your friend that they're making you feel so unbeautiful that you hate eating. you don't tell them that. so that's not the solution. but honestly what is happening to me? am i slowly developing anorexia? i don't want to be 90 pounds or anything absolutely not, but food does make me feel unbeautiful. please help me i'm super concerned... oh and no harsh comments please. thanks so much to those of you who read this and took it seriously...